Who's Your Bully? How to Get Inside Your Bully's Head and Heart
So who’s your bully?
Chances are if you answered this question it could be the person cyber bullying you on facebook, via text, or maybe a person bullying you at work, school, or in your neighborhood. You might even have a bigger brother or sister who bullies you from time to time. Maybe you’re abused by a close friend or relative.
Growing up my bully changed from person to person. I was even the bully myself for a time. My children have had their share of bullies too, and some of them have even bullied others. We even had a bully dog. And quite often still I work with both bullies and bully dogs.
Most people wanna know… why bullies bully? How to prevent a bully from bullying? Where to get help for bullies?
To answer all these questions I believe we must first understand a bully. By getting inside their head and seeing how they think, we can get inside their heart to change the way they behave.
Think Like A Bully:
I’ve been hurt, abused, bullied and let down, and no one helped me, so it must be okay to hurt others.
I have to do it to get friends, protect myself so no one bullies me.
Sometimes I’m jealous of what others have.
Sometimes I like to pick on someone to make my friends laugh.
Sometimes I just want what someone else has.
I do it for the power it gives me.
Most Bullies Don’t Know
-how much they hurt their victim or target
-the true effects of their bullying behavior
-that they can change with the right help
-that other people care for them
-how to stop the abuse cycle once it starts
-they’ll still be liked and accepted if they change
The Bible tells us to pray for our enemies and do good to those who hurt us. At a recent anti-bullying rally, after I spoke, my son’s bully from high school came up and apologized to our entire family. He thought it was no big deal all those years and went about his life, while my son was suicidal. I could have been angry and bitter with this young man, but instead, I got into his heart. Filled with love and compassion, I pulled him into my arms and said, “It’s okay. I forgive you.”